Being The Right Kind of Mom

Last week I was flipping through Facebook. I saw an article on a homeschool page I follow. The article told about the childhood of a girl whose mother was spontaneous and carefree. But it wasn't the article that captured my attention, it was the response below it. The response was this, "I wish I could be more like that." I paused and then kept on flipping, a couple days later I was going about doing household chores when the article and the response came floating into my mind. As I thought of the article and the response I wondered if my children would be better off if I was more carefree. Immediately a rebuking thought gently but boldly admonished me, I am exactly the right kind of mother for my children, Heavenly Father sent these sweet spirits to me because I am the just the right kind of mom for them.
Ever since I began to raise children I compared myself to others, trying to figure out if I was doing it "right". At the same time I struggled because it seemed like the talents I had been dealt did not seem to mesh the required set of talents for being a mom and taking care of a household. I'm creative, artistic, I love to throw a great party, but these talents didn't seem to have anything to do with the skills I needed to be a good mom. A good mom meant a kept house, children who wore matching shoes. I envied those with the natural ability to keep a clean house, how limiting for me and them.
I still have a long way to go. My children aren't very old and still have plenty to teach me, but this I do know, being a mom has made me a better, drawn me to knees and closer to Christ. So the next time you feel the demon of guilt or inadequacy, remember, you aren't meant to be like anyone else, the only thing you need and God needs is for you to be the best version of you!

It's Not Always What You Teach Them, It's What They Learn

The impact of a book is often individual and personal. The way a person relates to and absorbs a piece of literature is as unique as the reader, this is true for both children and adults. Often the messages we lock into in literature reflect our inner desires and passions, sometimes those messages cause a stir inside us and awaken our senses to something we never thought of before or realized was there inside of us. As a child there were a couple of book that had a significant impact on me and I believe they awakened a part of me that has followed and heavily influenced my decisions and passions in adulthood.

The first book is "The Berenstain Bears Learn about Strangers"

In the story Mama and Papa Bear teach Brother and Sister Bear about strangers. After the discussion, Sister Bear, who normally has a sunshiny disposition toward everyone, starts to see everyone as suspicious or dangerous. In a discussion about people with Mama Bear, Sister Bear learns that you can't always tell whether a person is good or bad from their appearances, it's what is on the inside that determines whether a person is a good apple or bad apple. Later Brother Bear abandons caution when a man offers to take him to a field to show Brother Bear his remote control airplane. Sister Bear intervenes and the man leaves; later, Sister Bear tells Mama and Papa what happened and more discussion ensues about being cautious and following the rules about strangers. The book ends with the "Brother and Sister's Rules for Cubs." It is a great book to teach children about stranger awareness, but that isn't what I learned.

Every time I heard or read the story I found myself fascincated by the discussion between Mama and Sister about good and bad apples and how you can't always determine the kind of person someone is from the way they look. It resonated within me, this idea that things aren't always what they seem, that there is always more to person than how they look on the outside, and that it is what is on the inside, in the heart the determines who a person is. Because of this lesson and outlook, I have often found that my friends and those I associate with come from a wide variety of backgrounds, interests, and belief systems. The attractiveness of a person lies in who they are and what is in their heart rather than who they appeared to be on the outside. This awareness also encouraged a compassion that helped me see past the exterior and learn that everyone struggles with something, no one has it all put together one-hundred percent of the time. 

It was one little book intent on teaching children stranger awareness, for me it opened me to a world of people and possibilities.

The other book that left a lasting impression is "Junk Day on Juniper Street"

 The only copy of this book I have ever seen is the one my grandparents gave me. The book is a collection of stories, all of them a little bit different than any other children's stories I had read, but it was the first one, "Junk Day on Juniper Street," that left the lasting impression. The story starts with all the neighbors on Juniper Street deciding to have a big cleaning day where everyone cleans out all the junk from their house. The junk from each house is placed on the curb in front of a house awaiting the trash man to pick it up. As one of the neighbor kids is walking down the street he sees something in a neighbor's junk pile that he really wants, so he takes it home; this sets off a chain reaction and soon neighbors are going through each other's piles and taking home new-to-them treasures. By the time the trash man arrives the only thing left is an oversized rocking chair, which happens to be the exact right size for the trash man. 

This story left a huge impact on me in a way that has stayed with me my whole life. Long before it was popular and chic to renovate, DIY, and refurbish, before the days of Pinterest and blogs that taught ushered in the era of turning old into new, this book taught me the value of  "one man's trash is another man's treasure." I am a dumpster diver at heart, and, according to my recent connection with extended family, it is an inherited trait. Imagine the thrill and delight I felt when I learned that my great aunt, who is well over 70, broke her rib dumpster diving just a few years ago. I also learned that her daughters, my second cousins, were expert trash-into-treasure makers and dumpster divers as well. This book not only awoke a life-long passion but also connected me to my past. That's a lot for a silly little children's story!

So the next time you sit down to read a story to a child, perhaps ask them what they love about the book, they just may surprise you with their unique perspective.

Two Recipes, Fast and Delicious

Having four kids under the age of six makes for a really busy household, but I like to cook and I like to cook from scratch. In order for a recipe to make an impression it has to live up to some pretty tough standards. I need fast, easy, healthy, cheap, and wheat free. I recently came across a couple of recipes that (mostly) fit the bill.

Stuffed Pablanos recipe adapted from this recipe found at Cooking Light - Serves 2-4


2 Pablano Peppers
1 (15 oz.) Can refried beans (I like the vegetarian or fat free ones, they do not contain lard)
Taco Seasoning
1/2 cup salsa
1 cup colby cheese
Shredded lettuce
Chopped tomatoes
Sour cream or ranch dressing

Heat oven to 400 degrees. Slice pablanos in half length-wise. Dump beans, taco seasoning, and salsa into a bowl and mix. Divide mixture between pepper halves top with cheese and bake for 20 minutes. Top with lettuce, tomatoes, salsa, and cream or dressing.


Cheesy Broccoli, Ham, Rice - slight variation on this recipe - Serves 4


1 cup white rice
1/2 cup quinoa
2 1/2 cups vegetable broth
1 (16 oz) package frozen chopped broccoli
1/2 pound ham, chopped
1/2 cup each shredded romano and parmesan cheeses
1 cup shredded Extra Sharp Wisconsin Cheddar

In  pot combine rice, quinoa, and vegetable broth. Bring to a boil over high heat, cover and let simmer 15-20 minutes. Meanwhile put frozen broccoli in a pot, cover with water and heat on the stove until warmed through. When rice/quinoa mixture is done add in broccoli, ham, and cheeses. Stir until combined. Serve.

Two loves

Why is that I seem so torn between two loves so often and is there a world where both can coexist? I love being a mother. I love my children, they are amazing and bring such joy and I can't imagine life without them. I also love creating, I love art and fashion design, sewing and building. It seems that these two loves could coexist well together, after all there is a level of creativity that is helpful with raising children, especially children that are also artistically inclined. And yet, like all mothers, my days are filled with the seemingly small and nitty-gritty. The cleaning and the listening, the teaching and guiding is nearly unceasing. If anything artistic at all creeps in it is usually a happy accident or a spontaneous burst of energy. Sometimes I think that perhaps once the kids are in bed I will take the time to pursue my passion but so often other things creep in like other responsibilities that seem more pertinent or I'm just plain tired.
I know I am not alone, whether it's being creative, reading a good book or pursuing other hobbies or interests, I think most mothers struggle with balancing self pursuits and familial needs. More often or the sense of responsibility or obligation becomes the louder voice and personal pursuits are put aside in favor of those that are more important. I almost typed seemingly more important, but all mothers know that when it comes down to it the most important matter of our lives is our children, hand down, not seemingly  they are.
So where is the balance? Is this the one question that plagues the mothers of my generation? Balance, how much do I need for myself and how much do I give? Perhaps it is one of the great struggles that will never find complete rest, I don't think it is an answer that anyone but the individual can answer for everyone's needs and situations vary. It's like finding a shade of red that everyone can wear, it's impossible because everyone is so different. I also believe that as children grow and family dynamics change the answer will also.
However, I find that one thing never changes, regardless of how many children I have or what age they are, a few moments of peace, either at the end of the day or in the morning. A few moments for reflection, prayer, meditation and spiritual fulfillment are, in my experience, the one thing that can bring balance to even the busiest and most challenging days. For me, it's few minutes in the morning before the others wake up. I spend a some time in prayer and scripture study and journal writing/reflecting. By the time the kids start waking up I am finishing and ready to greet them with open arms. Right now this is what works for me, it hasn't always been this schedule and I am sure that in the future it will change as the needs of family change. And, I don't always get it in. Some days I have a hard time waking up and miss the opportunity or the children wake up sooner and my attention is needed sooner than expected. So it isn't a perfected solution but it is one that I strive for on a daily basis and the one thing that has made the most profound difference.

If you have too many children your uterus might fall out

Society when a woman has one child, "Motherhood is a wonderful blessing, congratulations." When a woman has two children, "Two children, you've got your hands full, but congratulations." When a woman has three children, "Whoops, was he/she a surprise?" When a woman has four or more, "Good heavens you're a baby factory, pushin' 'em out left and right!" My all-time favorite comment (referring to Michelle Dugar from "19 and Counting") - "Her uterus is going to fall out."
 I am grateful for each one of my little blessings and I love being a mom even if society thinks I'm crazy.

The answer for world peace

I figured out the best way to take down tyrants and end all war. Instead of sending in troops with guns blazing we should send in a bunch of two year-olds. First, they will distract the bad guys with their cuteness (even biggest, baddest guys cannot resist the giggle of a toddler). After distracting them with cuteness they will start destruction, in less than five minutes all the plans and equipment will be destroyed. The bad guys will be so busy trying to keep them from destroying stuff they won't have time to plot evil schemes. They will try putting the toddlers to bed, thinking they will plot evilness after. However, by the time all of them are asleep in bed, the bad guys will be so exhausted that instead of finishing their work all they will want to do is check Facebook and go to bed. And there you have it, world peace through exhaustion instead of annihilation.

Finding Joy

At the Relief Society (church women organization) conference on Saturday the the theme was, "Finding Joy in the Season of Your Life." Or basically finding joy with whatever God sends your way. Since God is good He gave me a chance to try it out this weekend. Saturday night at about midnight we discovered that our fridge was no longer working. Fortunately my parents live close by and still happened to be awake and just so happen to have a second fridge. Today we spent the majority of the day looking for a fridge and discovered only one store in town could deliver the fridge by tomorrow, fortunately it was also the store with the cheapest prices. Since we have no food we went out of dinner. The people at the drive through window at were taking a long time to get our food so Chris turned off the car and when tried to start it up again it wouldn't. so he had to push the car out of the drive through. As he passed the window the Taco Bell employee so kindly told him to have a nice day. Amidst all the fun we discover that our 4 year old is running a fever.
So, remembering the lessons taught at the conference I am working on finding the joy in this season. Here is what I have so far. I get a new refrigerator. This is especially exciting since I have never had a new fridge before. I really wanted one with more space to meet the needs of our growing family. Instead of getting one large fridge we bought two smaller ones, which ended up being more space and less money. Another joy I discovered during this process is the ability my husband and I have to work through trials together and find humor in the challenges we face. I am so grateful to have someone who can laugh with me through the tough times.
While this wasn't huge trial it was a major inconvenience and my attitude about the situation made a big difference. At each moment we have a choice whether to find joy or misery, for me, I choose to joy.